Tracie Shroyer

A parent recently emailed me the following question:
“I just looked at our daughter’s report card for this semester, and it’s well below her abilities and our expectations.
What is the best way to inspire her to do better work?  We would like to reward good work.  However, she has a cell phone and facebook account which seem to be a major distraction for her.”
It surprises me how often I get this question.  At least three or four times during a six-week class someone will ask this.  So let’s look at the cell phone question.
When a parent talks to me about cell phones, my first question is why their child has one.  I’m always curious as to the response I’ll get and sometimes there is a legitimate reason for needing a phone, but most often the parent tells me that the kid has a phone so the parent always knows where they are.
I have news for you.  Unless your kid’s phone has a GPS unit embedded in it, you actually have no way of knowing whether or not your kid is where they say they are.  Being able to reach them on the phone doesn’t change the fact that they could be anywhere, getting into any amount of trouble.
But maybe you trust your kid.  That’s great!  So you believe them when they tell you they are at Julie’s house.  But, if that’s the case, couldn’t you just call Julie’s  house to find them?  I mean, that’s what our parents did, right?

A few days ago, a good friend and I were discussing birthdays for kids and how many gifts they seem to get for even the smallest of events.  Now, I don’t harbor a grudge against people giving gifts or even kids receiving them, but I don’t think there is a parent out there who doesn’t wish there was less stuff to pick up at the end of each day.

And then she told me of something she had done for her daughter’s first birthday that I thought was brilliant.  On the invitations, she told everyone that what Maddi really wanted for her birthday was for everyone to bring peanut butter and jelly to donate to the local food shelf.  She knew that a one year old didn’t need a lot of toys, and she knew the food shelf did need supplies.  And peanut butter and jelly just seemed like something fun for a baby to donate to a food shelf.  She said it was amazing.  There were tables covered with jars of peanut butter and jelly.

Right now, in this economy, it is hard to think about ways to give.  To help others when we’re sometimes struggling ourselves.  But to me, this was a lightbulb moment that donations don’t have to be big, or expensive or even something we buy.  We can use our time to benefit someone just as easily as we can use money.  Maybe more easily.  So when you think giving, don’t think big, think peanut butter and jelly.